1. People Get Busy.
Your family, your friends, even your acquaintances all have a life unique only to them. When you start working towards your career, building a life with someone, or just learning to LOVE your alone time that starts to take up a part of life that was available before. Stop letting people make you feel bad because you are not at their beck and call whenever they see fit. Life moving into adulthood is a lot different than when you were 15. You have more going on. You have relationships, careers, kids, I personally realized how important time with family was, there is just a multitude of things that begin to happen. Do not take offense when someone can not be around 24/7 unless it gets to the point where you are the only one making effort. There is, in fact, a difference between being busy and not caring at all. Friendships, relationships, the whole shebang takes effort. Moving into adulthood teaches you how much you really value your alone time. Learn to do the things you love by yourself, it will make it so much easier as you grow up. When you have learned how to be alone, you will not be bothered when people in your life get busy because you will be busy too.
2. Hello Budgeting.
Budget, budget, budget. The word itself sounds kinds of scary, doesn’t it? A budget is not nearly as bad as it seems unless you want to blow your money and not have lights because you would rather buy a trendy, designer sweater but to each their own I suppose? When we are young, we live at home. Our parents pay our bills and we are almost free to do what we want. When you move out, you hit a roadblock. You have to pay for lights, water, the internet, food, RENT, all these things you took for granted when you lived at home. How do you make sure you can have all this? A budget. You have to know how much you earn a month, what your bills will cost, and decide what you can afford from there. Maybe you can only afford to buy the Walmart brand and not the Trader Joes brand, THAT IS OKAY. Sometimes you have to move to a smaller place until your money picks up, THAT IS OKAY. You have to be able to survive your move into adulthood, buying a cheaper alternative is never a bad thing. Remember, you do not have to keep up with other people in order to be deemed a “successful” adult. If your bills are paid and you have food but can not go out drinking or too overpriced dinners, THAT IS OKAY. You are responsible. Never live outside your means to impress someone else. A budget is going to save your ass.
3. You Are Not On A Timeline.
When you get to a certain age people are going to start putting you on a deadline. A lot of people are going to say you should be married, have kids, and whatever else people think you should do by a certain age but YOU are not on someone else’s timeline. People have a tendency to forget that everyone works at a different pace and no two people have the same life. Your friend had a baby at 25 and you are still single so people think you are failing, right? WRONG. You are smart enough to know you are not READY or CAPABLE of taking care of a kid so you know not to have one yet. Next, you are still working in middle management but your best friend is a senior vice president so you must be falling behind and not putting in the same effort at work, right? WRONG AGAIN. You work different jobs, you are different people, you have different goals and aspirations. Stop letting people put YOU on a timeline. This is YOUR life. Your timeline is not your mom’s timeline, or your dad’s timeline, or your sibling’s timeline. You are 100% free to live your life.
4. Your Happiness Comes First.
I am going to keep this one as simple as I can. Your happiness truly comes first. If you are happy that is all that matters. Surround yourself with people who cheer when you succeed and cry when you cry. Watch out for the people who will use you to get ahead. People will climb on top of you and not look twice if you are not careful. Your happiness is just as important as anyone else. If someone says it is not, remove that snake from your garden. Your life is full of value, your happiness is deserved. Work hard, love others, cheer for other people but never put yourself at the bottom of the totem pole because you think you are not worthy of happiness.
5. No one Has Everything Figured Out.
Anyone who says this, please stop lying. If you truly DO have it all figured out, please email me the formula for the “perfect” life because it definitely does not exist. No one has ever had it all figured out. We are all walking aimlessly trying to figure our own life out. I know it may seem like everyone around you has it all together, they have their perfect job or dream spouse or ever dream house, but that does not mean they have it all together. Society strictly goes on what they see on the exterior of a person’s life. They do not know their family situation, their health issues, their financial issues. You bet that someone you know may have a stunning two story home but they also may be about to lose it because they got laid off from their job which you did not know either because it was not shown on the forefront of that person’s life. No one has life figured out fully. Life is a learning experience. Remember that no one is ahead of you and no one is behind you because you should not be comparing your life to anyone else. Figure out YOUR life as you go. Do not beat yourself up for not having it figured out, no one really does.